Aqua Dream

I captured my dream this morning. This is a rare occasion. Now I wonder if all of these are actually my creation?

• I was in a gallery for an installation type show by young Spanish/Latin artist.
• Lots of blue, cobalt deep kind of blue.
• Stacks of aquariums with animal colorful performance in habitat, genetically altered.
• Fish fulling another fish from attaching to something or brest feeding on the glass wall.
• Big underwater animal giving birth or laying egg? while attaching to the glass wall, viewer has all the exposure.
• Sea horse type chained with jewels studded leash to the aquarium floor.
• Human mom giving birth or exercise with babies underwater.
• Large reclining Budha type sculptures.
• All these seems to be packed in small dark gallery room.

Next room the show was about Japanese artist who is collaborating with is son on story book, thin paper with pencil and label type pasted from under the paper. The work displayed on big table sliced off a tree trunk.

Then I woke up.

Awaken

Lately I have been staring at blank wall. Not because I have been unsinspired, in fact I have been full of ideas, as usual. I have been unmotivated I must say, to do other than staring blank. I suspect this is all temporary - mood based. Can be fixed by way of internal mechanism and mind alchemy, the rest by diversification of attention - in short bursts.

The last couple of days I have been disconnecting again from the reality, swayed by my desire and the voice on the other end of the line. Blinded by immense caring I have thus misplaced my self again.

If there is something constant about my self, it is my thoughts and wondering. Uncontrollable craving of familiar scent, sound and warmth. Unfulfilled, I am using that to fuel my writing, photographs, drawings, midnight rambling. But most of the time, it came out as pure blank.

Tablet Drawing

I have been using my tablet computer that I received from work for the last 4 months or so. I love it, despite that is running Windows. I used the tablet functionality in several note taking applications and loving the flexibility and efficiency it has provided me. So far I've been doing strictly work related drawings and sketching. But, since I carry this thing with me everyday, I thought I should take advantage of it and do some personal art with the tablet. I found it to be perfect to do my line drawings.

Meteorologist

Meteorologist
Originally uploaded by moriza

Perpetually in a state of meditation, he has his senses acute as wild game or school of fish. His coverage of prediction is small, roughly a square mile, but accurate to the number of raindrops and beads of sweat. He is part of a legion of weathermen, they come out once a year, each stands (for a whole day) as a node in a network and predicts the weather for the whole year...

I wish I have my own meteorologist, to consult of weather ahead. Things are appearing to be unpredictable, much more often than I wish them to be, including my predicament and reaction to certain heartfelt situations. I'd like to be able to pin point my step, responding to the turn of your head, swing of your arms and beat of your heart.

Tired

I think I am tired of chasing, I decided to stay put. I guess I have been deaf, missing the dullness between the dial tone and the click at the end. I know I have been blinded by mirage of conversations. But there is nothingness, one sidedness, that I must realize and accept. No, I would not need a demonstration, or overtly reaction, that so usual coming from me. I will cease care, I will hold heart, I will stop snooping, I will remember to forget this time, as you wished all along.

Silence over land

Chimenea de la Tierra 12 & 13Originally uploaded by moriza.

For some reason this silence has become annoyance, causing me to exaggerate noises long ceased, by rethinking the obvious. I have to put up and let go, or ask a friend like EO to kick mine arse. I can't wait for tomorrow meet up, and see her reaction to the deep shit I am immersing my self still, since our last conversation. I wonder is she would be able to detect the fracture in mind and soul over food. I am thinking Kenka or Cha an, or Angel Share.

Simple pleasure of conversation

Hard to define how a conversation, unpoised, take me away from my troubled mind. Thoroughly enjoying it, I am immersed by voice, sounds, music or even steps behind the topics. Along the conversation, I travel far north to be in your new place, walking along your side, being there familiarizing my self with the layout, the corners, closets and the pantry in the kitchen. Visual memory from the last tour set a stage for me to slide even hover, while I dance with your story. If only I can smell the egg frying, or see those fingers on the black and white keys.
A conversation with long pause in between, while I listen to every cooked of fingers, running water, flushed toilet, dimming of lights even secret conversation on instant messaging. It is hard to define, but all these conversation have defined me.

The Ice Sculptor

The Ice Sculptor
Originally uploaded by moriza.

I met a friend today, I haven't met her in a while. I am concern of her situation, her sadness, the visible tiresome and the short look in her eyes. She had helped me before, pointed me to the simplest answer. I wished I could offer something and ease her almost sorrow outlook, some advice in any form. I did not, since I haven't much to say, but to listen. Be well, I wished you.

Apart Ment

I am glad to night, I am glad to hear a familiar voice, I am glad to see a place about where I can imagine some one living comfortably. I am glad to see a glimps of one I miss and long for. I am glad to walk around the corner and peek into the rooms where beatiful being freshend up, clothes wash and dried, tired body rested, curtained from the bright early morning sun and noisy night outside. I am glad that good place come together nicely, to you.
Good things happen to good person, I know that and I wished that. I only hope that it is true for me.

Short Week

Sketchbook Two - Pen/Ink Drawing
Originally uploaded by moriza.

Starting to draw again, starting to write again. I want to be prolific, I want to be constant creative, inspiring and inspired by many around me. I think it's a modest objective, considering I work hard to get here. The only problem is focus and my heart distraction. I do believe I can get back to my usual self again.I can be studious and steadfast if need be. I measuer my accomplishment week at a time, bit more helpful when day s are just blurry instance. This week is a short one, I think I did ok considering. Communicaion open and being let to be helpful even in such a minimum way also helps.